We have been doing a great study at church on the marriage relationship: titled Love and Respect. Men are called to love their wives unconditionally and women are called to respect their husbands the same way. Today's message was specifically for the women. I found much of it very convicting and learned a lot in how I can better respect Michael. I found it compelling enough to want to pass on my notes from the message to each of you ladies to encourage you in your relationships with your husbands! I also wanted a place I can come back to revisit this message for reminders throughout the year. We need to drastically change the way marriages are viewed in America and it begins in our own homes. Enjoy!
- Emily
Spelling Love to your Husband-Sermon (Ephesians 5:33)
Men feel love when they feel respected
*Conquest- appreciate his desire to achieve (Genesis 2:15)
Listen to his work stories, respond to him positively- give him verbal "kudos" even if he doesn't ask us to. Start saying it don't just think it! Verbal affirmation, thank him for working and providing. Believe in him
*Hierarchy- appreciate his desire to protect and provide (Nehemiah 4:14)
Choose when and how to speak (challenging for those who are outspoken) we are serving with our words either respect or disrespect (bite your tongue sometimes)
Empathize about work position, status and rank. Never in word or body language put down his job or salary
Quietly and respectfully voice concerns about finances and offer solutions to cut spending (what can "I" do to help us)
*Authority- appreciate his desire to serve and lead (Ephesians 5:22-24)
Proverbs 25:24
Praise his good decisions
Be gracious when he makes a bad decision (even if they do something differently than WE would have done it- we are not perfect either)
Disagree only in private! If by accident in front of the kids then apologize to him in front of them too.
Insight- appreciate his desire to analyze and counsel
Tell him when you need an ear and not a solution
Thank him for his advice without acting insulted (even if you don't take his advice)
His problem solving is his attempt to connect
**Try to stop taking everything so personally- the minute I feel hurt by him take a moment to pray instead of talking back or confronting in the moment
Relationship- appreciate his desire for shoulder-to-shoulder companionship (Genesis 2:18)
Acknowledge he wants you just to be beside him (not always talking)
Men share experiences by sharing activity
Encourage his time with other friends
Sexuality- appreciate his desire for sexual intimacy
1 Corinthians 7:5
Your husband will feel respected when we seek to understand his God-given need for sex
(Not just a want a need)
Do not use sex as a manipulation tool
Respond more often and even initiate sexual experiences
Let him acknowledge sexual temptations without judgment
1. Learn to view respect for your husband the same way you view love for yourself
2. Focus on his heart not his performance
3. Seek to understand him
You will always struggle to respect what you have not attempted to understand
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